A Letter of Apology to All the Things I Love

When Paulo Coelho wrote “People destroy what they love.”, he could not have been truer. Especially for me.

I remembered all the things I love after I finished reading Paulo Coelho’s The Magic Strings of Frankie Pesto. And I remembered how I killed them with my bare hands by not doing anything.

I am sorry that I stayed away from photography just because I suffered inferiority complex that one time in Subic when they were all using manual mode in DSLR and I can’t seem to find my own pace. I am sorry because I equate my lack of skills to leaving. I should have stayed. I should have learned more. But no, I left. Only because I felt like a small fish in a large pond.

I am sorry that I veered away from writing. I thought I cannot write before because I have no time but no, these days – I have a lot of time. But still, I cannot use it to write blogs. I became distracted by a lot of useless things.

I am also sorry that I haven’t been doing my drills in typography and calligraphy. What use is it to hoard and accumulate so much artistic supplies when I’m not even using them?

So this is how it goes. I am struggling to fit all of these – my passion – into my lifestyle now.

I have just been disorganised. And I spent too much time outside. I need to venture inside. And I need to encourage that little girl in me, that no matter how little things I do everyday – in the long run – they will all benefit me. What can I say but “practice makes progress”, “hustle beats talent when talent do not hustle”, and what more?

And also, it is not how many views, how many likes, how many comments I gather. When I started out my tumblr account – it is just for the sole purpose of writing – because I love blogging – it is the reason why I have my multiply account! Because I love writing even if no one is reading it. Actually, it could have been my motto: “Blog like no one is reading.” When I started out my instagram – it is just to show how I picture sceneries – but is not at all about how many hearts I get. And lastly, why did I create typographies? Because it instills something inside of me – like while I am releasing my passion into that work of art (as I call it!), it is giving something inside of me that can never be fulfilled until I finish it. So, what can I say – while I am giving something, I also get something inside. And there is no greater feeling that having created something wonderful. 🙂

So cheers! To all the things that I love, forgive my momentary lack of passion, of hustle, of skills, of hope. I hereby commit myself to more years of creating.

“Unless it comes out of your soul like a rocket.
Unless being still will drive you to madness or suicide or murder, don’t do it.
Unless the sun inside you is burning your gut, don’t do it.

When it is truly time, and if you have been chosen,
It will do it by itself and it will keep on doing it,
Until you die or it dies with you,

There is no other way.
And there never was.”

– Charles Bukowski

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