thou thoug though thought thoughts

maybe I don’t want to fall in love because i’m too smart for that. 
not smart meaning other people are stupid. but smart as in i don’t want to conform to other people’s beliefs. 
you see i am reading bo sanchez’s how to find your true love and it shatters many many myths about true love and it is funny, amusing, humurous and if i can be honest i am learning and i agree with him too. 
and here is my point. 
i don’t want to fall in love because i don’t fall in love with what i think a person is. 
because sometimes you fell in love with a figment of your imagination. 
and i’ve long discovered this i how most people love- they’re in love with what they think a person is. 
(read sylvia plath’s i think i made you up inside my head and you’ll see what i mean)
that’s why i say i’m too smart for this. 

but not really because what would i know. 
and in knowing i developed a certain aversion to it that i also don’t want other people to fall in love with their own version of me and in so doing i became really undecipherable. lels is there such a word?
i just developed this whole new sense of not falling into that deep hole. but so far from knowing how to get there. 
i just knew one wrong way but i still don’t know the way to get there. 

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