super late birthday post 2016

Okay. Naglilinis ako ng phone ko – from photos to whatnots at nakarating ako dito sa notes and found this unposted birthday journal entry so I guess I’ll just dump it here. Wala naman sigurong magbabasa neto. Hahahaha. I wish!

But anyway- nakakatawa lang with background music pa talaga ng Typecast tong pagpopost ko dito eh. Anyway- why do I always write notes whenever? I don’t know – maybe it just amuses me to know what is it I am thinking during the past. If it is something that I’ve already moved on or if it is something that is still bothering me. Besides- maybe I’m being obnoxious here but I like the way I write and sometimes I am thrilled that I was able to write that way.

So that’s that. It’s a different year already. 2017. Four months away from my next birthday and I don’t have a clue on what will unfold. But this is always my challenge to life: “Surprise me! The good kind of surprise! 😅”.

june 11, 2016
dear lord god,
oh well- it’s been 26 years already- and i had survived the what they call quarter life crisis. its the first time for me- to celebrate my birthday in a foreign land, away from the comforts of my country and work and home and family and colleagues turned friends- though now i am with my few friends. 😅 bukod sa hindi ako sanay na dito sinusulat ung journal ko- its weird doing this on a moving bus to kuala lumpur- yes- i am moving from one country to another- on the day of my birthday- haha. foreshadowing na ba to ng travel opportunity sa shell? 😊 haha. lord sana. ewan pero kasi nung nag-US sila talagang nainggit ako- siguro talagang i really want to be something like that- the one who puts all her 100% effort and pour her heart and soul into creating something that will or wont work but thats the thrilling part and the amazing part- when the one you wanted to be becomes who you are. 

sige na nga hindi na ako mageexpect ng surprise- haha- tutal mahirap naman talaga akong isurprise- palaging epic fail eversince. haha. and whats with bdays anyway? this just marks the day i live on earth and to be honest wala naman akong naaalala dun so why bother. i think this is just going to be another ordinary day except that nasa kuala lumpur kami- minsan talaga lord i had to lower my expectations- kasi naman super high na ng mga expectations ko- out of this world- kaya i know it wont happen in real life but i still expect anyway. and all i want is someone like that- who will take me by surprise. 😁

lord instead of what i want to happen- siguro its time na din that i have something to do. this time ako naman dapat. haha. di ba nga these days sinasabi ko kayo nga faithful eh, dapat ako din! so un- lord undecided pa din ako to think na eversince january pa tong issue na to. but what to do- i cant go back and i cant move forward. 

aun basta po i’llbe excellent in shell not dahil gusto kong mapromote but un kasi ang service na dapat kong ibigay- that level of excellence. and i know and papasa lang sainyo is 95% and above. i’ve never been an achiever but ngaun i want to kasi hindi lang naman ako pati din mga friends ng friends.

aun. and i pray for that one- i know i have a apecific person in my mind but its like not pushing through and ayoko po umasa. ewan. lord nakakatulog na ako. huhuhu. kasi naman magulo siya. sana po may sarili din akong andreau cortez. hai. 😣


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