letters to the future

Maybe I Would Marry the One Who Will Take Me to the Next Paramore Concert

Euphoric. That’s how I would describe the recently held Paramore concert. There was no other words but this. It was a mixture of pure bliss with a rush of excitement and that exact amount of there’s no tomorrow – it was euphoric.

I was one of the blessed ones to be able to get tickets to this much anticipated Paramore Tour Four (thanks to my little sister’s booking skills).ย It was super worth-it even if we are at the topmost row of upper box and we no longer see much – I consider myself blessed because I am able to be part of this “paramore experience”. Ecstacy is another word that surfaces in my mind as I try to describe how I felt during and after the performance.

It was cancelled last February and seven months after I was no longer hyped about it – not anticipating much and I was this – is there another word more extreme that surprised? Shocked in a good way because it was such a beautiful experience that I hope I will not forget – never – not until they come again and give new meaning to this “paramore experience”. I will be there on your next concert to Manila.

There was an air of longing in the crowd that feels so palpable whenever the band plays the intro and one to three seconds after – the crowd would know the song and they would scream and jump and everyone will go wild. Their music was so wonderful that itย  transcended the passage of time. Paramore started in 2005 and I started listening to them in 2007 and it was now 2018 but it feels like we are back in that era – just with more songs and well – I can now afford to pay for tickets plus parents that will allow me to go to a rock concert because I have earned my part of the deal which is to graduate. ๐Ÿ™‚

Their front act is Reese Lansangan which is also very wonderful – I saw her in our company’s event earlier this year and since then I had admired her voice and the kind of music that she does and in that MOA Arena, while playing, she looks so large because of her music which reaches the topmost row.

Paramore’s first song was my favorite song in their After Laughter album – because of its new wave and The Cure vibe – the song’s title is Grudges. But I didn’t actually recognise that it was that song until after the second chorus. (Actually before the concert I was earnestly wishing that they would include this in the setlist)ย I was singing along to this song not realising it was Grudges because I was too overwhelmed.

And then they followed it up with Still Into You and the crowd is screaming wildly – I didn’t know where I should go – in the vacant space near our seat or on stairs and internally struggling if I should watch or capture it in video or just record the audio – I was too overwhelmed and this is another favorite I didn’t know what to do.

I recovered slightly in the next song which is Rose-Colored Boy – since this is the third song – I slowly eased in and found my footing and enjoyed the song while singing along to the lyrics and dancing along because Hayley is a huge ball of energy onstage – she was dancing happily (while singing) and they were so good you can feel their awesomeness and energy radiate throughout the whole stadium.

And then intro of another old song and I was scrambling on how I could get it on video and yup That’s What You Get – I resolved into this overflowing tears (if I could become a puddle of tears I would have done so right there but I can’t because I won’t be able to see them perform this song) – I was filled with too much emotion I can’t even enumerate – happiness and nostalgia and overwhelmingness – it just exploded from my heart from my very soul and I was there – I didn’t even know I could cry like that in concerts. I mean, I do cry at musical plays because it was so beautiful it speaks to my soul I was so touched but at least there I can contain my tears and subtly look for tissue and wipe my tears but this time I was caught unawares – I was just there pouring my heart out on this very song but instead of pouring my heart while singing along to Paramore’s That’s What You Get – I was literally pouring my heart out with this tears I didn’tย  know I had – they were pouring heavily I can’t contain myself – (you know those kind of cries you couldn’t stop – coupled with sobs, yes that was it) I was sobbing hysterically while listening to That’s What You Get – I can’t even sing along and my little sister was wondering why we’re not all-out enjoying that song – I am secretly thankful that it was dark and nobody would see me ugly crying because that was my first time crying in concerts.

I thought it would not happen with me – I thought I knew myself – I thought I would just figuratively cry at concerts but it happened and I don’t know I was amazed and surprised at myself. That’s What You Get will always be one of my favorite songs from the old days – same with Brighter (and many other songs I won’t bother to write) – I listened to it and it marked my life even before it was released.

Other notable performances were Fake Happy where nearing the end – all those Fake Happy fans were flying onstage – it was so beautiful. ๐Ÿ™‚ Actually I liked everything – Crush and Playing God and then suddenly the spotlights were on and off and on and off and on and off and I just knew – and we just screamed and danced and jumped and it was Ignorance! Sorry if I’m being biased to the older songs – it’s just that I listened to them more (because they were older and they had more airplay) but I equally love the new songs – there were just favorites and they have a lot of songs and a lot of favorites actually.ย  And then Pool and it was the end of their first set.

We thought it would take long but no – they were back in a heartbeat – it’s like they just drank water and didn’t even rest but this set is just the sitting type “ala” acoustic session where they played Passion Fruit (a song I didn’t know – it was a cover), Misguided Ghosts – where someone just put on their flashlight and everyone followed and soon the whole stadium is engulfed with the flashlights from the crowd it was very pretty. I think it was at this time that Hayley cried because she was touched with the gestureย  – maybe it was because they felt the warm welcome even if there were very far from home. ๐Ÿ™‚ Awwww, the feels and there I go again crying – but at this time I can contain myself.

And then there was that portion where Hayley made us raise an invisible glass to all the mistakes we ever made that got us to where we are now and a toast to misery – and hell yeah – the crowd – us included – exploded. Did I ever tell you that this was the very first Paramore song that I listened to? Not on CD but it was aired in NU107 Home of Nu Rock ๐Ÿ™‚ back in college. So yeah maybe a lot of us travelled back in time at that moment.

As expected Hard Times was the last song – I can’t complain – I think they just wanted the end the concert in a good note and that was a fitting ending song but we can watch them perform for hours and we won’t complain – it was – like every other concerts – “bitin”.

There were those spiels I can’t remember all but there was one where Hayley indicated that they’ve been touring since 2005 and they have grown so much and maybe a lot of us there also grew up with them (awww, feels again) – they’ve been doing their stuff and we’re also doing our stuff and she just hit it right on the exact spot.

And who could ever forget RJ? He was the one chosen to go up on stage to sing with Paramore on the last part of Misery Business and he was able to come close to Paramore and hug Hayley and sing along to one of their songs on stage and you know what was more amazing than that? It was because he killed it! He was the exact person that should come onstage – super performance level – and he was so amazing right then and there – nobody could’ve done it better than him. So wherever you are, RJ – that was one heck of a performance and you deserve being on that stage and thank you so much for that wonderful performance-ย  you represented all of us in that arena! ๐Ÿ™‚

Last words – it was so beautiful I can’t sleep until now – well maybe the dark mocha I drank has something to do with it – but seriously, honestly, it was the best concert I’ve ever been to. It’s like we all feel so connected and it didn’t matter if we are standing and jumping and dancing and screaming-singing along to the lyrics all throughout the concert. We didn’t use the seat actually. ๐Ÿ™‚ And maybe I would marry the person who will get me tickets to the next Paramore concert. Yep. That’s how good it was.

Dear Hayley and Taylor and Zac and the rest of Paramore (sorry I’m a sucker I didn’t remember all your names): Thank you so much for coming back to Manila in your full energy – it was so worth-it waiting for years and waiting again after it was cancelled. It was one heck of a show and no words could ever describe what you made us feel inside that concert. It was mixture of euphoria and bliss and I just wanted to thank you – for staying until now throughout the years – for not giving up (especially you, Hayley) when members left and changed and got back, I could only imagine how hard it is- for still making songs that we could own and relate to – for touring even if it’s hard, I could only imagine (again) how hard it is missing on everyone while you were there touring through the years making everyone happy – we hope we could have made that moment also special to you because it was special to me, to us! – your songs represented much of my youth and now – this concert is a stellar part of my adulthood and again I cannot express this overwhelming gratitude to all of you. ๐Ÿ™‚ You made a lot of people feel alive and life is about doing something that makes you come alive so very much thank you. ๐Ÿ™‚

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