letters to my younger self

At Times You Gotta Pick Yourself Up

While having dinner yesterday, a colleague said to me that October is almost ending – before we knew it, it will be only two months left off of 2018.

This thought resonated with me while going home and me thinking: where did I spent most of my 2018? And my answer is that I spent most of it on wallowing in misery because of the feeling that I cannot work in the corporate anymore. It is sucking the life out of me and I wonder when will I ever get out of that labyrinth?

There.

But desperate times call for desperate measures.

With only two months left of 2018, I think I have picked myself up from that slump. Your friends will be there no matter what but you have to have the strength to pick yourself up and gladly I found that strength. I guess my mind and my body agreed that I have spent a ton of time in that dark and it was (finally!) the time for me to get out of it – or maybe I just already blurted out everything there ever is – all the frustrations and apprehensions and everything that I feel I don’t want to stay that way forever.

So yes I picked up myself from that dirt.

It was not easy having to be disappointed in a lot of people in a small amount of time. For months I’ve been trying to respond albeit dramatically, I’ve been trying to see it in a way that won’t undermine them and I but I just couldn’t. I’ve come to a conclusion that I am just a bad judge of a character and that I have to let go of what’s hurting me to I’m letting go of those people who brings out the worst in me.

I know it might be pretty cruel of me but I just cannot let myself hope and get disappointed again so I will just let it go and not root for them anymore. I am done and sorry but I just want those people out of my life.

Whew!

They say the last two minutes in basketball is very important – they can make it or break it in that time. So, let me just say that those two minutes is like the two months left of 2018 for me – I will make the most out of it – and hopefully that will make up for the nothingness that I’ve been creating since day one of 2018.

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