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letters to my younger self

Tag: birthday musings

Toe in Water versus Dive Head First

The Day Before Independence Day

Imagination is the Best Weapon in the War Against Reality: Where I Left the Quarter-Life and Into Adulting I Step In (2016 Birthday Post)

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i think a post is in order mark this in my memory. #mychemicalromance is back and it still feels unreal. 🖤 last september out of nowhere i just listened to the full album of the black parade. i’ve listened to them before but my aversion to anything mainstream prevented it. so there i go and i cant believe i have not listened to that album at all (like the american idiot album - timeless). and so i embarked on this journey to listen to all of their four full length albums and some single releases. and while i enjoyed their music immensely i am torn like why did i chose a currently nonexisting band to get obsessesed with? there i go reading everything from gerard way’s poetic breakup letter to a lot of pinterest memes. pinterest suddenly became my safe place. watching anything from fancam videos of their earlier days to their last show. but listening to them became my therapy. it started a fire inside of my slowly dying self. suddenly i am able to gather pieces of myself that broke apart after all of the bullshit that is the most part of this year. it made me love my own quirky, rare, unique, weird self that so many people don’t understand and rejected. bit by bit i am able to take small steps to what i love. my self-hate fueled by the rejections i received were slowly fading. it is a therapy. their music’s lyrics is like an anthem to never let the cruel world take you alive. it made me feel like even if nobody cares it’s alright “and if we can’t find where we belong, we’ll have to make it on our own”. a lot of their songs i cried to and gave me power to wake up another day. i cannot go back to who i was before. i grew into another version of myself. it feels weird listening to a dead band but at that time their music is all that i can hold on to. and yes there were reunion theories. and i never thought i’d live to see the day that it came true. look alive, sunshine, they’re back. they really did carry on. even if there’s only one reunion gig - i’m not complaining. the joy of having something totally unreachable finally came true is enough proof that there will always be that one thing. never let them take the light behind your eyes. #thinkpiecesbyjennicelle

wrote on the sand

still a long way to go to surf like @guy.kid__ hahaha 💭

if i could speak to myself from ten years ago- i’d just tell her to take responsibility for her life. search for things that will make her heart ignite and will make her soul on fire. she can never be limited by what other people can do. her dreams are limitless. create a path for herself and be scared, but don’t let that feeling drown her. and that she can always always start in the middle- she’s always never too late. being different becomes good when you realise it. and to people who will hurt her: she can either tell them to go f*ck themselves or to forgive and let go- choose which one will give her peace. she doesn’t need people in her life who’ll make her feel less than her worth. and lastly- she can be wrong sometimes and it takes a lot to admit it and get it right 🍡

I've never seen any life transformation that didn't begin with the person in question finally getting tired of their own bullshit. 🙊

on a hot day 🔥 like this, i wistfully remembered that first snow ❄️ in seoul. 🤧playing with ice until you can no longer feel your fingers 😐

しあわせ🌸

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